Last Post of 2011

Just a quick post since we're all spending time with family and enjoying the holidays. Since my grandfather would have turned 100 on Wednesday I've had him on my mind more lately. I've been reading some of the stories he left and came across a speech he gave on "Career Day," at a local high school. One sentence leapt out at me and I feel compelled to share. So ruminate over it as 2011 comes to a close and take it with you as you head into 2012. Happy New Year!

You do best doing the things you love to do, so love your talent and it will fulfill your life.

~Victor Hearon Douglass 

   12/28/1911-7/17/2009

Your Daughter's Body Image Starts with Your Own

Author Dara Chadwick

Last week as part of the Hot (Sweaty) Mamas virtual book tour, I interviewed Dara Chadwick, author of You'd Be So Pretty If... Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies--Even When We Don't Love Our Own. I love that she's reminding us that our daughter's body image starts with out own and wanted to share this interview with Mama Sweat readers, too. Stop with the disparaging remarks about yourself and if you hear them from someone else, borrow Dara's response she provides at the end of the post. Brilliant. 

If you have ever once said in front of your children, something to the effect of: "I look fat..." or "I hate my hips..." or "My stomach is huge..." or (enough already, you get the idea) then you really must check out the book by Dara Chadwick, You'd Be So Pretty If... Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies--Even When We Don't Love Our Own. Dara also blogs at Psychology Today and her own site, You'd Be So Pretty If.

Between Laurie and I, we have five daughters, so I wanted to ask Dara a few questions. Plus, our names rhyme and I thought the Q&A format would look stellar. Moms, buckle your seat belts, take notes and remember who you're really talking to when you're looking in the mirror (ie, look down at the reflection of the little faces staring up at you)!

Kara: I love what your book is about, the message is so important and goes hand in hand with our message about the need to feel good about your body for what it can do--be healthy and strong versus the disparaging thoughts about thighs or tummies. Sure we might workout for vanity's sake too, but when it comes to our children what should we be highlighting about "why we workout."

Dara: I always try to make it clear that I work out to feel good. In fact, I’m glad we’re having this conversation today because I’ve been super busy lately and haven’t had much time to work out – and I can definitely feel the difference. Working out always boosts my mood and helps me handle the stresses in my life in a more positive way. I have two teenagers who have plenty of stress of their own between school, activities and other commitments. I try to help them see that physical activity helps keep both our bodies and our minds healthy.

Kara: How do you and your children get fit as a family?

Dara: Walking or bike riding is usually our family fitness activity of choice, though I’ll confess we don’t do it nearly as often as I’d like. My kids don’t think of “fitness” as something they have to do; both are active in sports (my son plays football and runs cross country; my daughter is a fast-pitch softball player). I do everything I can to encourage their participation because I know that love for physical activity is something they’ll take with them into adulthood and will help build healthy habits for life.


Kara: Now let's say we have a daughter who is heavier than she should be. NOW what? If we don't want her to dislike exercise or associate it with weightloss only, how do we work around that?

Dara: Let’s face it: If your daughter is heavier than she should be, she already knows. Don’t make conversations about food or exercise only about losing weight – make it about feeling good and being healthy. I try to encourage moms to help their kids find a physical activity that is fun for them. It could be dance, skating, gymnastics, football, baseball, running, jumping rope…you get the point. There’s a huge difference between movement that you just have to “get through” (e.g., exercise simply for the sake of losing weight) and movement that you look forward to because it brings you joy, social interaction and a chance to do something fun. Don’t be afraid to let kids try different activities until they find one they love. And when they do, you can foster their involvement by paying for lessons if needed, getting them the right equipment, giving them a ride to practice and most important, cheering them on.


For kids who aren’t into sports, there are plenty of great video games out there now that encourage activity. We’ve got Zumba for our Playstation and it’s a lot of fun for the kids (and mom, too) – and a great workout. A walk with Mom or Dad is also a great way to get kids active and create time to re-connect. The bottom line is that one person in a family should never be singled out as the one who needs to exercise or cut back on treats. A family-wide approach helps keep everyone healthy and helps avoid hurt feelings.


Kara: I read your guest post about math and nodded. I felt (feel?) my own math skills are... how shall I put it... well, I'm a writer! But I don't want my daughters to feel that way so I've been careful about what I say... and yet, I've heard one already say she doesn't like math, the other say she's not good at math (which is NOT true). Then there's the daughter with curly red hair who wants it straight and blonde (although she gets nothing but praise for her hair) and then there's my daughter who doesn't have red hair, who has already asked if I'd let her dye it red. When our children start these negative digs how can we change the script? And, of course, not make it backfire into a worse situation!

Dara: Those things are hard to hear, aren’t they? Of course, we moms have to look at ourselves and see what kind of example we’re setting. If we’re quick to put ourselves down (or to put other women down), chances are good that our daughters will pick up those habits. Everyone gets down sometimes, but we can try to set a good example but speaking kindly about ourselves and others. Instead of saying things like “I’m not good at math,” we can re-frame it as “Math doesn’t always come easy to me, but when I work hard at it, I can do it.” What a powerful shift in the message!

The same thing is true about our bodies – instead of saying, “I look fat in these pants,” we can re-frame it as “These pants aren’t a flattering cut. I’m going to try on another pair that’s a better fit.” Now, it’s about the pants – not you.
It sounds simple, but how we frame our words has a big impact on how we feel about our bodies – and how our daughters feel about theirs. And when someone is really putting herself down, sometimes a gentle “Please don’t talk about my (daughter, sister, mother, friend, etc.) that way” can really make them stop and think. 

Kara: I love that suggestion. We should never let a woman (especially ourselves) get away with putting herself down. Thanks for all your wonderful insight Dara!

What Fit Moms Wear-Winter Edition

Another reader question! You know I love reader questions. This is a good one, too, and appropriate for a December post:

Hello Kara,
I have enjoyed reading your blog now for several years - thank you for taking the time to keep us inspired! I know you published a post this past summer about running clothing that you like, but I am curious about cold weather gear. I have been a runner for many years, but most of them in very temperate climates which made year-round outside exercise easy. I now live in upstate NY and hope to continue my outdoor/road running throughout the year. Last winter though, I found it very hard to regulate my temperature - I always felt like my core was too hot and my extremities too cold - just the opposite of how it seems cold-weather gear is designed to function! Do you have any suggestions of cold-weather running gear that has worked particularly well for you?
Many thanks from a fellow Sweaty Mama,
Wendy K.
Ithaca, NY

Let's start with a little review. I grew up in El Paso, TX, and lived in Dallas for about 10 years before moving to Minnesota. Until I moved North, I saw no reason to run if temps dropped below 20, mainly because the next day would likely be 60 degrees or higher. So I had options. No so in Minnesota. In order for me to continue running outdoors (I've discovered this is important to surviving winter outside the mental institution) I've lowered my standards and bolstered my wardrobe. Now, not only do I survive the long Minnesota winter, but with the addition of my beloved snowshoes, I thrive.

Thriving! This Texas girl does enjoy winter.

The secret is having the right clothes. Before I go into the details, I'll share a few highlights:

Had there been a blackout, my reflective vest would have come in handy.

#1 You don't have to sacrifice style when you bundle up. Here I am in a Skirt Sports ensemble that can go from presentable (literally in this case when I wore it for a presentation at the Twin Cities Marathon Expo) to perspirable. I've said it before: the best chance you have to get in your workout is to get up and put on your running clothes. As moms, we all know it could be another eight hours before you actually get to sweat, so you might as well look good in the interim.

I'm like Goldilocks, I need gloves that are just right for the weather.

#2 You need to have a range of winter gear. As I've learned to brave colder and colder temps, I've bought the gear that withstands those temps, which means I have mittens and hats for various degrees of cold, like the gloves above and the various hats, below.

Left, the hat for severe cold, middle, the hat for pretty darn cold and right, the hat for mild cold.

The Wonder Teen modeling the barely cold cap with The Boy in a fleece headband (to prevent hat head).

Keep your bank robber comments to yourself.
I don't want to lose my nose to frostbite.

#3 Fabric matters. What this means is, you might find yourself "investing" in winter running wear. After moving to Minnesota my husband did what I couldn't seem to do for myself, which was spend the money on good winter running clothes. He bought me a pair of running pants that might very well be made of Teflon because I can wear them in subzero temps and not feel even a sliver of cold through those fibers. They cost on the other side of $100 and I am here to tell you they are worth the money (see comment above about avoiding the mental institution if I run through the weather). I also recently discovered a new line called Icebreaker, when they sent me a few items to try out. The clothing is made of Merino wool, intended to be cool in summer and warm in winter. I know you're thinking thick and scratchy. But it's not. It's freakishly lightweight and soft. I say freakishly lightweight because this thin layer I'm wearing in the hot pink number above (the balaclava on my head is Icebreaker, too) keeps me as warm or warmer than many of my heavier tops. I was afraid the first time out that it wouldn't be enough so I wore another layer. I didn't need that second layer on my 20-degree run. I tested the other extreme as well. Went to a heat-cranked yoga class wearing the same top. I wasn't hot. Freakish material. But the best part? Most garments have a "Baa Code" so you can trace your clothing back to the very sheep who supplied the wool for it. Fun for the whole family!

#4 Think reflective. The thing about winter is, it's not just cold, it's dark. On my morning runs I now start and finish in the dark. I might as well be running at midnight. I wrote a post about what to wear in the dark for Innovation for Endurance. Check that out for what running experts around the country recommend.

#5 Don't be afraid to take the kids. Have you ever heard of a Brown Fat Cell? Babies have an abundance of brown fat cells that help regulate body temperature, which eventually diminishes the older a child gets. But this explains why you are shivering in the 3 minutes it takes to get the mail, while your children have been playing in the snow for hours. You know how we argue with them to wear their coat and they protest, "I'm not cold!" Well, believe them. What I'm saying here is, the kids might like to get out with you. If you're pushing a babe in a jogger, though, remember they're only sitting there, so they will need more layers than you who are moving. A weather shield for the stroller is a handy addition to fitness winterization.

Me and Emily Hedges (The Hot Sweaty Friend helping with the Virtual Book Tour) before our Sunday run.
Temp was 32 degree F with a fair amount of wind.

To complete my advice on winter wear, I've got the following chart. This is what I've learned the last nine winters in Minnesota. Trial and error. Everyone's heat making abilities and tolerance for cold is different. Get the right gear and get out there!

Temperature	What to Wear	Extras
50-60° F	In the fall this might feel chilly, but in spring it will feel glorious. Shorts still required, and a light, long sleeve layer (the kind with sleeves that can cover your fingers are nice).	If you’re prone to being cold add something over your head—like a running cap, not a knit stocking—and light gloves.
40-49° F fall &/or no snow	Same as above. For some reason having just spent the summer wearing shorts it’s easier to keep them on and transition gradually.	You might want to make your top layer a little thicker or—especially if it’s windy—add a vest. Now it’s time to consider a hat of some sort and gloves.
40-49° F spring &/or snow	Snow changes everything. Maybe it just looks colder, but I want Capris on bottom.	Same as above.
30-39° F	A pant is now required for me. Nothing heavy-duty, just offering full coverage and a top made to keep out the chill. Hat and gloves are no longer optional for me. I’m also wearing a warmer mitten and hat.	When temps dip below 40 this is when my body and brain disagree. My mind wants to bundle up, but my body will protest 10 minutes into my run. Stick with your one layer (the vest rule still applies) by the end of your run you’ll be glad you did.
20-29° F	Here is where I’m going through my drawer searching for a tight that’s a bit thicker, with a tighter weave. I might wear two layers on top, a light base with a thicker outer layer.	I’m also digging through my drawer looking for my wool socks that come up higher on my ankles. Hate when that little strip of skin between sock and tight get exposed. Also, remember to remove earrings. Freezing metal on earlobes is no good.
0-19° F	Bring on the mack-daddy winter running pants. These are the pants you hold up at the running store and wonder why they are SO expensive. When wearing these tights your legs are in Hawaii. From the waist up I’m wearing the same as above.	I might also add a jacket now or make the jacket my second layer. If the temps are closer to zero I also might add some sort of mask for my face. My heavy duty mittens come out too.
Sub 0° F	I'll get out if cabin fever strikes, but generally more than five degrees below zero and I’m at my limit. Yes, I love to run, but not so much below zero. If I’m training for something and need to run, I’ll find my way to a treadmill. Otherwise there are plenty of other fun ways to move inside.

What is a Tempo Run?

I don’t believe there is such a thing as a "real runner." You know what I mean: the person who is running to drop a few pounds refers to her neighbor who finished a 5K as a “real runner.” The person who finished the 5K refers to her sister who finished a half-marathon as a “real runner.” And so on. 

Phooey. If your pace is faster than a walk, you're a runner. 

There is, I believe, a continuum of runners, from those who just do it, to those with a strong passion for running. Part of that passion comes from self-study, in the sport of running as well as the personal growth, which is as much a natural by-product of running as the sweat. 

I just started reading a book by Jennifer Luitwieler called Run with Me: An Accidental Runner and the Power of Poo. I’m not sure where on this continuum she or I reside, but I connected to what she wrote:

Running is merely a vehicle by which bright glimmers of iridescent truth came to reside in my heart and head. Through running, and the time, thought, energy and people involved in this journey, I finally trained The Dog to stop pooping in my house; I also trained myself to identify and to listen to the right voice. I trained myself to push harder and faster, to see what I could do. Running does not make these things true. Running also is not the be-all and end-all of my existence on Earth. It is merely a way I came to know some pretty cool things.

Isn’t that lovely?

So when I got an email last week from Mamacat with this question: “What is a Tempo Run?” I had to smile. 

Her birthday is this week, which makes me realize it's been a year since we got together for lunch and she asked me about helping her become a Hot (Sweaty) Mama. On that day I can say with certainty that she was not a runner. 

That's all changed. Sure, we've known that for a long time. Technically, the gig is up. She finished the Iron Girl Duathlon--her goal race--and two triathlons to boot. We've talked about her future goals and I know she's committed. So committed, she’s surprising even herself:

I think something is wrong. I wake up every day and don't feel right until I go for a run. Oh, and three miles just isn't enough anymore. WTF? How many days a week should I be running anyway? Sunday was the first days IN YEARS that I did not have a Diet Coke. Who Am I?

Then the following week I got this:

It's strange how your mind changes with your body. (Or in my case, my mind but hardly my body darn it!). I never thought I'd run at all. Then I made myself attempt to run/walk in intervals of 30 seconds (because the teacher said to) and I thought my heart would fail me. I didn't like it much. Next... I never thought I'd willingly run three miles, but ended up adding three miles to a hearty swim and long bike ride. Unexpectedly, the sense of accomplishment made me want to do it again. Who new? Then curiosity got the best of me just by wondering if I could conquer 10 miles on foot. AND I did it two Sundays in a row and agreed to do it again in another week. Who knew? How could you know? I learned what running through the pain means; I learned what mind over matter means; I learned that it's as much mental strength as it is physical strength; and I've crossed some kind of proverbial path into a world of running that I actually enjoy. Crave it. Wild. What a year!

We just HAD to check this out at the library!

Mamacat--like Jennifer, like myself, like a lot of us who run--is coming to know some pretty cool things. 

Happy Birthday Mamacat.

PS--Click this link for more about tempo runs and four tempo workouts.